Scriptural Submission of Women
I am convinced that all women have struggled, do struggle, or will struggle with the issue of submission for some period of time during the course of their lives. Whether they ever realize that this problem has been present or not, is completely beside the point. Sin often blinds us to the truth. Just because we cannot see it does not mean that it is not there. In fact, I believe that the times when we can't see sin in our own lives, are the times when we are, in fact, drowning in it. And for so many women, that over-ruling, "besetting" sin is the ongoing war with submission.
Some women fight this God-given responsibility to submit, more than others. I have fought and beat against this role, that I MUST take, most of my life. It has only been recently that I have realized that submission is NOT about becoming a doormat; it's about becoming a beautiful possession. It's not about becoming a bonded slave, but a free servant. It's not a form of weakness, but a form of meekness- an intense power brought under control. It's not about a being powerless, indeed, it holds great power.
Obedience is often confused with or used to replace submission. However, these words, as well as the concepts behind them are not interchangeable. Obedience is physically following an instruction or desire of another. You don't have to want to do it to do it. You may choose to do it, and in your heart not want to, or you may be forced to do it... and still not want to. Submission, is following an instruction or desire of another because you want to honor and please the one you are obeying. While the term "obedience" deals with the physical, "submission" deals with the mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Submission cannot be forced into existence; it comes with a heart of humility and love. You can force obedience, but you cannot force submission. To submit is to choose to obey, with the underlying motive being love. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines submit as: "to yield oneself to the authority or will of another", or "to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another". The words "yield", "defer", and"consent" imply that the one submitting is the one truly in control because they are allowing a higher authority to determine what is to occur instead of retaining that control for themselves.
Submission is often looked at as the "lesser" thing to do. As women, we often try to (and succeed in) manipulating the God-given authorities (i.e. husband, father, boss, teacher, church leader, etc.) around us into believing that we have submitted by doing everything but. We give so much, do so much, say so much, so that we don't have to submit as much. And not only do we do our best to avoid submission, we make a point of flaunting all that we do in its place. How many times have I heard Christian wives say of their husbands, "I clean his house, wash his clothes, have/take care of his children, buy/cook his food, and do everything else that needs to be done in his home, and yet he expects me to do what he says!" As convinced as we are that we are pleasing our husbands, service is not what they desire MOST of us. Titus 2:4-5 says women are to love their husbands and submit to them (italics mine). And yes, service IS a part of love, but so is submission. And if you will submit to your husband, service will follow. On the contrary, you can serve your husband for 50 years and never once submit. Titus 2:5 very distinctly describes what the role of a woman is: to submit; to whom: your own husband.
We, as women, deceive ourselves into the worldly thinking that if we do the menial, tedious, everyday things to ensure that our homes run smoothly, all will be well with us. This is a very easy and desirable concept to believe. But it is not what is required of us. 1 Samuel 15:22b says, "to obey is better than to sacrifice,". They word obey here is speaking of "true obedience" or "submission", not a mere following of instruction, but of an obedient heart, that is seeking to give honor through its obedience.
Every day I see Christian daughters who when they are feeling so very mistreated and misunderstood by their parents come and demand, "What do they really expect me to do? How can they expect to me to do everything perfectly? Shouldn't they be happy that I do as much as I do? At least I don't ___________...." Fill in the blank- smoke, do drugs, drink, have sex, curse,... The list could go on and on. Again, they have been deceived into believing that they can be "good enough" and therefore won't be require to be "good". Ephesians 6:1 says, "Children, obey your parents...." Colossians 3:20 says, "Children be obedient to your parents in all things...." In almost every Scripture written to children, the only instructions is to obey! And never does Scripture give an opportunity to NOT obey! Is DOESN'T say, "unless they are mean", or, "only if they are Christians", or, "if you feel like it", or, "when it seems like the right thing to do", it just says obey. The last part of the Colossians 3 verse says to obey because, "... this is right.". So you've been given a very clear instruction. This verse tells you what to do: obey; when you have to do it: in all things; whom to do it towards: your parents; and why you have to do it: because this is right. How much clearer could it be?
But as clear and simple as the instruction for women to submit is, the execution is seemingly elusive. For 19 years, I tried to submit... and that was my problem: I tried to submit. Submission is not a natural, instinctive part of humans... especially not in women! It is only through the grace and by the sovereignty of God that anyone is able to at any time truly submit. Submission comes from acknowledging that I don't need to be in control, and I shouldn't be in control. That is the easiest part. The harder part comes in giving up the control to someone else; in allowing someone else to drive, going where they want to go, arriving when they want to arrive, and getting there how they see best. As women, I think many times we see it as our duty to make sure everything is running smoothly and without problems or delays. That couldn't be further from the truth. In order to ensure that this would happen, we would have to have the authority and power to change circumstances should the need arise. That's not our job. Our job is to assist, not run; help, not control. And it is to be done in a manner of humility and meekness that brings glory and honor to the one over us... whether that is a human authority or the Ultimate Authority. It's not an easy thing to do... I would much rather get the praise and be in the spotlight than have anyone else... but that's not my calling. Mine is to submit; as a child to my parents (Eph. 6:1, Col. 3:20), to my husband as a wife (Eph. 5:22, Col. 3:18, Titus 2:4), and to my boss, government, church leaders, teachers (Heb. 13:17).
To women, who believe that submission was a cultural practice, where is the example of what to do if you DO NOT submit to your husband. Never does the Word show us where a woman is to disregard her husbands desire and do as she wishes. There is no command telling women to not submit, no praise for not submitting, to exception with which they can skirt around it; every passage dealing with women in general says to submit. Where is the discrepancy there? Where is the opportunity to question?
To submit or obey is NOT an easy thing to accomplish, but so very profitable and rewarding.
"Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you." Hebrews 13:17
In His Grace,
Rebekah
Some women fight this God-given responsibility to submit, more than others. I have fought and beat against this role, that I MUST take, most of my life. It has only been recently that I have realized that submission is NOT about becoming a doormat; it's about becoming a beautiful possession. It's not about becoming a bonded slave, but a free servant. It's not a form of weakness, but a form of meekness- an intense power brought under control. It's not about a being powerless, indeed, it holds great power.
Obedience is often confused with or used to replace submission. However, these words, as well as the concepts behind them are not interchangeable. Obedience is physically following an instruction or desire of another. You don't have to want to do it to do it. You may choose to do it, and in your heart not want to, or you may be forced to do it... and still not want to. Submission, is following an instruction or desire of another because you want to honor and please the one you are obeying. While the term "obedience" deals with the physical, "submission" deals with the mental, emotional, and spiritual.
Submission cannot be forced into existence; it comes with a heart of humility and love. You can force obedience, but you cannot force submission. To submit is to choose to obey, with the underlying motive being love. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines submit as: "to yield oneself to the authority or will of another", or "to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another". The words "yield", "defer", and"consent" imply that the one submitting is the one truly in control because they are allowing a higher authority to determine what is to occur instead of retaining that control for themselves.
Submission is often looked at as the "lesser" thing to do. As women, we often try to (and succeed in) manipulating the God-given authorities (i.e. husband, father, boss, teacher, church leader, etc.) around us into believing that we have submitted by doing everything but. We give so much, do so much, say so much, so that we don't have to submit as much. And not only do we do our best to avoid submission, we make a point of flaunting all that we do in its place. How many times have I heard Christian wives say of their husbands, "I clean his house, wash his clothes, have/take care of his children, buy/cook his food, and do everything else that needs to be done in his home, and yet he expects me to do what he says!" As convinced as we are that we are pleasing our husbands, service is not what they desire MOST of us. Titus 2:4-5 says women are to love their husbands and submit to them (italics mine). And yes, service IS a part of love, but so is submission. And if you will submit to your husband, service will follow. On the contrary, you can serve your husband for 50 years and never once submit. Titus 2:5 very distinctly describes what the role of a woman is: to submit; to whom: your own husband.
We, as women, deceive ourselves into the worldly thinking that if we do the menial, tedious, everyday things to ensure that our homes run smoothly, all will be well with us. This is a very easy and desirable concept to believe. But it is not what is required of us. 1 Samuel 15:22b says, "to obey is better than to sacrifice,". They word obey here is speaking of "true obedience" or "submission", not a mere following of instruction, but of an obedient heart, that is seeking to give honor through its obedience.
Every day I see Christian daughters who when they are feeling so very mistreated and misunderstood by their parents come and demand, "What do they really expect me to do? How can they expect to me to do everything perfectly? Shouldn't they be happy that I do as much as I do? At least I don't ___________...." Fill in the blank- smoke, do drugs, drink, have sex, curse,... The list could go on and on. Again, they have been deceived into believing that they can be "good enough" and therefore won't be require to be "good". Ephesians 6:1 says, "Children, obey your parents...." Colossians 3:20 says, "Children be obedient to your parents in all things...." In almost every Scripture written to children, the only instructions is to obey! And never does Scripture give an opportunity to NOT obey! Is DOESN'T say, "unless they are mean", or, "only if they are Christians", or, "if you feel like it", or, "when it seems like the right thing to do", it just says obey. The last part of the Colossians 3 verse says to obey because, "... this is right.". So you've been given a very clear instruction. This verse tells you what to do: obey; when you have to do it: in all things; whom to do it towards: your parents; and why you have to do it: because this is right. How much clearer could it be?
But as clear and simple as the instruction for women to submit is, the execution is seemingly elusive. For 19 years, I tried to submit... and that was my problem: I tried to submit. Submission is not a natural, instinctive part of humans... especially not in women! It is only through the grace and by the sovereignty of God that anyone is able to at any time truly submit. Submission comes from acknowledging that I don't need to be in control, and I shouldn't be in control. That is the easiest part. The harder part comes in giving up the control to someone else; in allowing someone else to drive, going where they want to go, arriving when they want to arrive, and getting there how they see best. As women, I think many times we see it as our duty to make sure everything is running smoothly and without problems or delays. That couldn't be further from the truth. In order to ensure that this would happen, we would have to have the authority and power to change circumstances should the need arise. That's not our job. Our job is to assist, not run; help, not control. And it is to be done in a manner of humility and meekness that brings glory and honor to the one over us... whether that is a human authority or the Ultimate Authority. It's not an easy thing to do... I would much rather get the praise and be in the spotlight than have anyone else... but that's not my calling. Mine is to submit; as a child to my parents (Eph. 6:1, Col. 3:20), to my husband as a wife (Eph. 5:22, Col. 3:18, Titus 2:4), and to my boss, government, church leaders, teachers (Heb. 13:17).
To women, who believe that submission was a cultural practice, where is the example of what to do if you DO NOT submit to your husband. Never does the Word show us where a woman is to disregard her husbands desire and do as she wishes. There is no command telling women to not submit, no praise for not submitting, to exception with which they can skirt around it; every passage dealing with women in general says to submit. Where is the discrepancy there? Where is the opportunity to question?
To submit or obey is NOT an easy thing to accomplish, but so very profitable and rewarding.
"Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you." Hebrews 13:17
In His Grace,
Rebekah
posted by Rebekah at
3:31 PM
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