There are only 2 consistant things in this life: 1) Change... and 2) God's provision through it.
27 moves across 3 states in 23 years. 5 siblings added to my family in the course of 8 years. 12 jobs between 2 states in 5 years. 2 cars in 5 years. More churches attended in more states than I can count. My life is not consistent in many areas, much to my dismay, but the consistency with which my life changes is downright disturbing in its... consistency.
I have a dear friend who, after I ran through a random smattering of my current life happenings, agreed that life, indeed is not only characterized by change... it IS change. He said, "Native Americans say, 'Life is a stream'. True. Buddhist's say, 'Life is flux'. True again. Snoop Dogg says, 'If it ain't one thing, it's... anutha'.'." (smile) So true.
I'm 23 years old. Due to various activities, some beyond my control, some fully within my realm of influence, I never went to school after high school graduation. Due to this fact, I don't have that life-changing piece of paper (that no one actually inspects or cares for what it declares... only caring that you HAVE it) to hang on my living room wall stating that I am, in fact, actually qualified to do... something. Anything. Due to the fact that I don't have said piece of paper, I have wandered around from job to job, having interests and desires within those jobs, but not really being fully satisfied because the jobs that you are able to attain withOUT the life-changing paper make living your obviously non-changing life, nearly impossible; because talented, skilled, and smart though you may be... if you don't have the life-changing piece of paper, you're not worthy to be paid what the next person, who, doing the same job, will be paid, because THEY have that danged piece of paper. So I go from job to job... seeking to find a job that causes me to be able to afford to exist, while providing some degree of satisfaction that I am doing something that more than trained monkeys can do. (smile) What a game.
Due to the fact that it was raining and dark on a Wednesday night after class at MSU in November 2006, I drove my still relatively new car into a large body of standing rainwater, completely ruining said car. I was without a car till May of 2007, when I bought a relatively ancient, decaying car that still drives, but has a growing number of terrifying noises being emitted from it, and lovely colorful lights behind the steering wheel indicating that EVERYTHING under the hood is about to explode. How lovely. Due to the fact that I don't have the life-changing piece of paper, allowing me the job that pays me to live, I can not afford another car that is more reliable, and lacking the constant light show while I attempt to drive.
Due to the fact that I can't afford to exist, I live with other people. I lived with my life-long best friend for 7 months. Then, due to the fact that she became engaged and is very near married, we no longer live together. So I moved in with another friend. Due to this next roomies human nature and how it related towards MY human nature, it became very apparent that we could no longer live together. So now, in my 3rd move of 2008, I am living with my grandparents... and will continue to until I can afford to live on my own... whenever I can manage to get that stupid paper to hang on my wall... when I get a wall.
It would seem, I am an outright failure at life. SOMEBODY FIND A CUTE TRAINED MONKEY TO TAKE MY PLACE!
Wrong.
I may not have a life-sustaining job, or a good car, or my own residence, but I am an incredible example of 2 things in life that are consistent: 1) Change, and 2) God's provision through it.
Awesome.
No, really... awesome.
I have lots of mentally images of God's provision for the Randel Family that I can sort through and be awed by. 1988: Mom just had Baby #2, Dad's in the hospital after having surgery on his back. I'm only 2 (almost 3). Clearly no one is really able to run our store, Baskin Robbins... not that anyone is actually buying ice cream anyways... there's a economical depression of sorts going on. Friends of ours go into their home while the we are away... leaving behind a counter piled high with food for the us... to help see our family through. And it did. 1996: Dad hasn't had a job in a really long time, Mom's teaching piano lessons again to make money. We have $8 in the bank. We were eating a lot of Mac&Cheese with hamburger meat in it. And now 8 people in our family... 2 of them under the age of 2. We get a call one night and the lady on the other end of the line tells me her name is "Mrs. Beach" and though we don't know her or her family, they have been to our church, and don't really know what all we have going on in our lives right now, but that they have been burdened to minister to our family... so if we would go up to the church, they had left something for us. I told Mom. We drove up to the church and there were 2 large tables COVERED with food, diapers and wipes, formula, anything we could have needed. And it saw us through. 1999: Thanksgiving rolls around, and we were so busy in our new ministries with World Impact that we totally didn't prepare anything for Thanksgiving... we didn't even realize that it WAS Thanksgiving. But it wouldn't have really mattered if we had, because we simply didn't have the things we would need to pull Thanksgiving Dinner off anyways. Until our neighbor called to say she had made TONS of food, and would we like to have Thanksgiving with her. She said she had everything but dessert. Then the phone rang and another neighbor said she had made a dessert for us for Thanksgiving, and could she run it over real quick? And the day was seen through.
I have these images, and though I know better, I still subconsciously seem to defend why God felt the need to provide for us in the ways He did: it wasn't my dad's fault that he had to have surgery... it wasn't my dad's fault he couldn't find a job (he HAD the life-changing piece of paper)... we were missionaries... how could God NOT provide for us?! But seeing God provide for Rebekah, not the Randel's has been another thing. It's been personal, proof that I wasn't provided for simply because I was in a family being provided for... proof that I am provided for simply because God provides for His children... not because I've done something to deserve it.
Hurricane season 2008 has allowed for southeast Texas to take several lengthy vacations this year... and it's been pretty expensive. Especially for someone who doesn't have a job that pays them enough to exist. Coming back from "Hurrication 2.0", I had next to no money left in the bank. And because I hadn't been working while evacuated, there wasn't about to be any money coming in.
I had agreed to go with my friend to his Rosh Hashanah service with him. The tickets were $50. Not knowing exactly how much money I had, but knowing I didn't have enough to be spending $50 on this ticket, I told him I couldn't go. He asked if I would go if he split the ticket with me. I told him I thought I could do that. Because I NEVER carry cash, I went to the ATM and got out what I had to to cover the ticket. It had to be in dividends of $20 dollar bills. So I got $40. When we got to the synagogue, we for some reason didn't have to purchase tickets. So I still had the $40. After the service we got lunch and I stopped to get gas... not much though, and by the time I got home, I had stuffed the remaining $30 in my glove box, thinking I would have it in case of an emergency.
On the next pay day I had $54 in the bank to last me the next 14 days. That's $3.85 a day. And I had to choose whether to spend it on food or gas or whatever else I might need. I worried a lot.
On my lunch break 5 days later, now down to about $34, I hit a HUGE screw in the road, instantly giving me a flat tire. Immediately starting to freak out over having to buy a new tire, I called my grandparents, telling myself that I could worry about the money when I got to the tire store... now I had to worry about somehow getting the spare on and getting off the road. My grandmother answered and told me they couldn't come get me at the moment because they were at the doctor. I hung up. I remember that I had Roadside Assistance on my cell plan, so I called them... as soon as the operator answered the phone, my cell died in my hand... I hadn't charged it the night before. Good grief. Well, I had never changed a tire, but I'd seen it done many times. So I pulled into the closest parking lot, a bar, and changed the tire, managing not to ruin my scrubs. I hurried to get something for lunch and get back to work on time.
On another lunch break 2 days later I finally had the chance to go to the tire store to get a new tire. I freaked and worried while he was ringing up the total. He surprised me by saying that I had Road Hazard coverage, meaning that I wouldn't have to actually purchase the tire, just the service of putting the new tire on. Awesome. He finally gave me the total. For stems, valves, and balancing the tire, the total would come to... $29.89. I did the math in my head and realized once this little purchase came out of my $34, I would only have $4.83 to get me through the next 9 days... that's almost 54 cents a day. I told the guy ringing me up to hold on while I went to get my wallet in the car. Once I got to the car, I broke down and cried. I couldn't believe how little money I had. And I HAD to get a tire... if I didn't get a tire, I couldn't drive my car... and if I couldn't drive my car, I couldn't get to work... and if I couldn't get to work, I wouldn't be able to make the money that just barely allowed me to squeak by. I was a wreck. I finally decided that I would write a check and pray that for some reason it wouldn't clear for 9 days... knowing fully well, that it probably would clear before then, bringing down fees for a bounced check. (sigh) Oh well... what else could I do. I reached to my glove box to grab my check book. And when I opened it, $30 fell out. "Oh... my... God...." I couldn't believe it. I wasn't going to have to get into the $34 at the bank... I had totally forgotten about the money left over from the unpurchased Rosh Hashanah ticket... I NEVER carry cash. I walked back into the store and paid the $29.89, sighing a sigh of relief and thankfulness as I did as the man took the money. He heard the sigh and laughed and jokingly said, "Am I taking all the money you have?", while handing me back my change. "Nope, I still have 11 cents... I'm good." I smiled at him and left.
Back in the car, I was floored... totally, completely, utterly floored. God had just provided in a way I would NEVER have expected. I'd been seen through. I cried for a whole new reason on my way back to work.
Ridiculously overjoyed at this amazing portrayal of God's faithfulness to do what He has said He will do, I was dying to share the story at my Wednesday night Bible study. I didn't really think through how I was going to give background on this story until I had already started telling it to the group. I then realized that in being able to tell of God's awesome provision, I was going to have to tell of my dire need for it... and that was going to be humiliating in this group of engineers and medical professionals who make more money than I could ever hope to make. I made it to the end of the story... almost. As I was telling about the money in the glove box that not only covered the tire, but even had some left over, I was started crying... simply because the provision was so perfect and so beautiful. I was once again in total awe.
As I was leaving the Bible study, a brother and sister in Christ both independently came to me and slipped money into my hands explaining that they wanted to be a part of how God provided for me. Again, I was moved to tears. And I was seen through another week.
Exactly one week later (2 days ago) my mom was meeting me in Orange to give me some paperwork from my 2006 income tax returns. I was super worried... I had had lots of problems with that years returns and had several extensions and late fees... I was worried that I was about to owe the government at least several hundred dollars that I didn't have. When I opened the envelope though, it said that I had money coming BACK from BOTH the federal and state income taxes. No way. What were the odds with all the extra fees that were due that I had money coming back? Very low, but there it was... I had some coming back. And Mom brought the letter just in time... it had to be postmarked by THAT day. Perfect... I don't have a job, so my schedule's clear to get this done today. And I am seen through again.
Super cool. Really, really, really, super cool. I'm being flooded with personal examples of how God will provide for ME, Rebekah, not ME, a part of the Randel family. It's awesome. It's exhausting... I've been quite emotional the past few weeks; something I, and for the most part, the world, feel I should have control over (my finances), I have absolutely no control in. And that's just fine... I'm totally content to let my God continue to proof Himself to me... it's a beautiful thing to witness.
And the "wow factor" is pretty sweet.
(smile)
With 11 cents to spare,
Rebekah
I have a dear friend who, after I ran through a random smattering of my current life happenings, agreed that life, indeed is not only characterized by change... it IS change. He said, "Native Americans say, 'Life is a stream'. True. Buddhist's say, 'Life is flux'. True again. Snoop Dogg says, 'If it ain't one thing, it's... anutha'.'." (smile) So true.
I'm 23 years old. Due to various activities, some beyond my control, some fully within my realm of influence, I never went to school after high school graduation. Due to this fact, I don't have that life-changing piece of paper (that no one actually inspects or cares for what it declares... only caring that you HAVE it) to hang on my living room wall stating that I am, in fact, actually qualified to do... something. Anything. Due to the fact that I don't have said piece of paper, I have wandered around from job to job, having interests and desires within those jobs, but not really being fully satisfied because the jobs that you are able to attain withOUT the life-changing paper make living your obviously non-changing life, nearly impossible; because talented, skilled, and smart though you may be... if you don't have the life-changing piece of paper, you're not worthy to be paid what the next person, who, doing the same job, will be paid, because THEY have that danged piece of paper. So I go from job to job... seeking to find a job that causes me to be able to afford to exist, while providing some degree of satisfaction that I am doing something that more than trained monkeys can do. (smile) What a game.
Due to the fact that it was raining and dark on a Wednesday night after class at MSU in November 2006, I drove my still relatively new car into a large body of standing rainwater, completely ruining said car. I was without a car till May of 2007, when I bought a relatively ancient, decaying car that still drives, but has a growing number of terrifying noises being emitted from it, and lovely colorful lights behind the steering wheel indicating that EVERYTHING under the hood is about to explode. How lovely. Due to the fact that I don't have the life-changing piece of paper, allowing me the job that pays me to live, I can not afford another car that is more reliable, and lacking the constant light show while I attempt to drive.
Due to the fact that I can't afford to exist, I live with other people. I lived with my life-long best friend for 7 months. Then, due to the fact that she became engaged and is very near married, we no longer live together. So I moved in with another friend. Due to this next roomies human nature and how it related towards MY human nature, it became very apparent that we could no longer live together. So now, in my 3rd move of 2008, I am living with my grandparents... and will continue to until I can afford to live on my own... whenever I can manage to get that stupid paper to hang on my wall... when I get a wall.
It would seem, I am an outright failure at life. SOMEBODY FIND A CUTE TRAINED MONKEY TO TAKE MY PLACE!
Wrong.
I may not have a life-sustaining job, or a good car, or my own residence, but I am an incredible example of 2 things in life that are consistent: 1) Change, and 2) God's provision through it.
Awesome.
No, really... awesome.
I have lots of mentally images of God's provision for the Randel Family that I can sort through and be awed by. 1988: Mom just had Baby #2, Dad's in the hospital after having surgery on his back. I'm only 2 (almost 3). Clearly no one is really able to run our store, Baskin Robbins... not that anyone is actually buying ice cream anyways... there's a economical depression of sorts going on. Friends of ours go into their home while the we are away... leaving behind a counter piled high with food for the us... to help see our family through. And it did. 1996: Dad hasn't had a job in a really long time, Mom's teaching piano lessons again to make money. We have $8 in the bank. We were eating a lot of Mac&Cheese with hamburger meat in it. And now 8 people in our family... 2 of them under the age of 2. We get a call one night and the lady on the other end of the line tells me her name is "Mrs. Beach" and though we don't know her or her family, they have been to our church, and don't really know what all we have going on in our lives right now, but that they have been burdened to minister to our family... so if we would go up to the church, they had left something for us. I told Mom. We drove up to the church and there were 2 large tables COVERED with food, diapers and wipes, formula, anything we could have needed. And it saw us through. 1999: Thanksgiving rolls around, and we were so busy in our new ministries with World Impact that we totally didn't prepare anything for Thanksgiving... we didn't even realize that it WAS Thanksgiving. But it wouldn't have really mattered if we had, because we simply didn't have the things we would need to pull Thanksgiving Dinner off anyways. Until our neighbor called to say she had made TONS of food, and would we like to have Thanksgiving with her. She said she had everything but dessert. Then the phone rang and another neighbor said she had made a dessert for us for Thanksgiving, and could she run it over real quick? And the day was seen through.
I have these images, and though I know better, I still subconsciously seem to defend why God felt the need to provide for us in the ways He did: it wasn't my dad's fault that he had to have surgery... it wasn't my dad's fault he couldn't find a job (he HAD the life-changing piece of paper)... we were missionaries... how could God NOT provide for us?! But seeing God provide for Rebekah, not the Randel's has been another thing. It's been personal, proof that I wasn't provided for simply because I was in a family being provided for... proof that I am provided for simply because God provides for His children... not because I've done something to deserve it.
Hurricane season 2008 has allowed for southeast Texas to take several lengthy vacations this year... and it's been pretty expensive. Especially for someone who doesn't have a job that pays them enough to exist. Coming back from "Hurrication 2.0", I had next to no money left in the bank. And because I hadn't been working while evacuated, there wasn't about to be any money coming in.
I had agreed to go with my friend to his Rosh Hashanah service with him. The tickets were $50. Not knowing exactly how much money I had, but knowing I didn't have enough to be spending $50 on this ticket, I told him I couldn't go. He asked if I would go if he split the ticket with me. I told him I thought I could do that. Because I NEVER carry cash, I went to the ATM and got out what I had to to cover the ticket. It had to be in dividends of $20 dollar bills. So I got $40. When we got to the synagogue, we for some reason didn't have to purchase tickets. So I still had the $40. After the service we got lunch and I stopped to get gas... not much though, and by the time I got home, I had stuffed the remaining $30 in my glove box, thinking I would have it in case of an emergency.
On the next pay day I had $54 in the bank to last me the next 14 days. That's $3.85 a day. And I had to choose whether to spend it on food or gas or whatever else I might need. I worried a lot.
On my lunch break 5 days later, now down to about $34, I hit a HUGE screw in the road, instantly giving me a flat tire. Immediately starting to freak out over having to buy a new tire, I called my grandparents, telling myself that I could worry about the money when I got to the tire store... now I had to worry about somehow getting the spare on and getting off the road. My grandmother answered and told me they couldn't come get me at the moment because they were at the doctor. I hung up. I remember that I had Roadside Assistance on my cell plan, so I called them... as soon as the operator answered the phone, my cell died in my hand... I hadn't charged it the night before. Good grief. Well, I had never changed a tire, but I'd seen it done many times. So I pulled into the closest parking lot, a bar, and changed the tire, managing not to ruin my scrubs. I hurried to get something for lunch and get back to work on time.
On another lunch break 2 days later I finally had the chance to go to the tire store to get a new tire. I freaked and worried while he was ringing up the total. He surprised me by saying that I had Road Hazard coverage, meaning that I wouldn't have to actually purchase the tire, just the service of putting the new tire on. Awesome. He finally gave me the total. For stems, valves, and balancing the tire, the total would come to... $29.89. I did the math in my head and realized once this little purchase came out of my $34, I would only have $4.83 to get me through the next 9 days... that's almost 54 cents a day. I told the guy ringing me up to hold on while I went to get my wallet in the car. Once I got to the car, I broke down and cried. I couldn't believe how little money I had. And I HAD to get a tire... if I didn't get a tire, I couldn't drive my car... and if I couldn't drive my car, I couldn't get to work... and if I couldn't get to work, I wouldn't be able to make the money that just barely allowed me to squeak by. I was a wreck. I finally decided that I would write a check and pray that for some reason it wouldn't clear for 9 days... knowing fully well, that it probably would clear before then, bringing down fees for a bounced check. (sigh) Oh well... what else could I do. I reached to my glove box to grab my check book. And when I opened it, $30 fell out. "Oh... my... God...." I couldn't believe it. I wasn't going to have to get into the $34 at the bank... I had totally forgotten about the money left over from the unpurchased Rosh Hashanah ticket... I NEVER carry cash. I walked back into the store and paid the $29.89, sighing a sigh of relief and thankfulness as I did as the man took the money. He heard the sigh and laughed and jokingly said, "Am I taking all the money you have?", while handing me back my change. "Nope, I still have 11 cents... I'm good." I smiled at him and left.
Back in the car, I was floored... totally, completely, utterly floored. God had just provided in a way I would NEVER have expected. I'd been seen through. I cried for a whole new reason on my way back to work.
Ridiculously overjoyed at this amazing portrayal of God's faithfulness to do what He has said He will do, I was dying to share the story at my Wednesday night Bible study. I didn't really think through how I was going to give background on this story until I had already started telling it to the group. I then realized that in being able to tell of God's awesome provision, I was going to have to tell of my dire need for it... and that was going to be humiliating in this group of engineers and medical professionals who make more money than I could ever hope to make. I made it to the end of the story... almost. As I was telling about the money in the glove box that not only covered the tire, but even had some left over, I was started crying... simply because the provision was so perfect and so beautiful. I was once again in total awe.
As I was leaving the Bible study, a brother and sister in Christ both independently came to me and slipped money into my hands explaining that they wanted to be a part of how God provided for me. Again, I was moved to tears. And I was seen through another week.
Exactly one week later (2 days ago) my mom was meeting me in Orange to give me some paperwork from my 2006 income tax returns. I was super worried... I had had lots of problems with that years returns and had several extensions and late fees... I was worried that I was about to owe the government at least several hundred dollars that I didn't have. When I opened the envelope though, it said that I had money coming BACK from BOTH the federal and state income taxes. No way. What were the odds with all the extra fees that were due that I had money coming back? Very low, but there it was... I had some coming back. And Mom brought the letter just in time... it had to be postmarked by THAT day. Perfect... I don't have a job, so my schedule's clear to get this done today. And I am seen through again.
Super cool. Really, really, really, super cool. I'm being flooded with personal examples of how God will provide for ME, Rebekah, not ME, a part of the Randel family. It's awesome. It's exhausting... I've been quite emotional the past few weeks; something I, and for the most part, the world, feel I should have control over (my finances), I have absolutely no control in. And that's just fine... I'm totally content to let my God continue to proof Himself to me... it's a beautiful thing to witness.
And the "wow factor" is pretty sweet.
(smile)
With 11 cents to spare,
Rebekah
posted by Rebekah at
2:56 PM
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