"Do I Trust You, Lord?" I should... "He's Always Been Faithful to Me"

"Sometimes my little heart can't understand,
What's in Your will, what's in Your plan.
So many times I'm tempted to ask You, "Why?"
But I can never forget it for long:
Lord, what You do could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.

Do I trust You, Lord? Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord? Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart, You can read my mind,
And You got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I've given them all.
But suddenly now, I feel so small.
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul.
I know the doctrine and theology,
But right now they don't mean much to me.
This time there's only one thing I've got to know.

Do I trust you, Lord? Does the robin sing?
Do I trust you, Lord? Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart, You can read my mind
And You've got to know I would rather die
Than to lose my faith in the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

Lord, I'm keeping my eyes on You,
Following You, following You.
My Lord, I'm keeping my eyes on You,
Following You, following You.
I won't look to the left or right;
My only goal is keeping You in my sight.
Lord, I'm keeping my eyes on You,
Following you, following You.
My Lord, I'm keeping my eyes on You,
Following you, following You, my Lord.

We will glorify the King of kings,
We will glorify the Lamb,
We will glorify the Lord or lords
Who is the great I AM.
Who is the great I AM.
Who is...

I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain!
You were God before, and You'll never change.
I will trust You. I will trust You.
I will trust You, Lord.
I will trust You. I will trust You.
I will trust You Lord."
"Do I Trust You?" as performed by Twila Paris

This is a medley of songs written by Twila Paris. I've never heard the second verse before, but was amazed to see it! This song completely encompasses what I'm going through in my walk with the Father right now. It's a constant question in my mind, "Do I trust You?" And the answer varies from time to time... sometimes it's an automatic, resounding, "YES!" And at other times, when my faith is quite small, the answer is a wavering one. However, even when I'm wavering, as I did most of last week, His steadfastness remained the same. And how comforting a thought. And this song very clearly reminds me of that. The concept of His trustworthiness is never in question... it's always there in full. The question does not lie in, "Is He trustworth?" The question lies in, "Will I choose to trust the Only One completely deserving of my trust? Or will I trust in things or people destined to fail me at some point (whether intentionally or otherwise)?" When put like this, the question seems so obvious... and it is obvious! It's the day-to-day, constant, repetative handing over of my trust that seems so elusive to me. I can remeber that He is worthy of my trust in theory... I can remember that quite well. It's the actual act of placing that trust that remains a struggle. And why is that? How many times has He failed me before? Never. So why do I so quickly and easily fall back onto those things that fail me every day? "Great question, Rebekah. Why do you?" I don't know. He has never given me reason to doubt Him; in fact, He's promised me that He will remain faithful to me! Deuteronomy31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you." Joshua 1:5 says, "No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 says, "...for He Himself has said, " I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU...." He has promised this, and what He says He will do, He will be faithful to do! And over and over again He has proven this to me. I have distinct memories of His faithfulness displayed to me and my family, from an early age... at the age of 2 I remember my mom taking pictures of our kitchen countertops filled with food from friends supporting us while my father was in the hospital. Or at 13, getting a phone call from a woman we had never met saying, "I wanted to something for your family. If y'all will go up to the church, I left somethings for you there." We had 8 dollars in the bank... but when we got there... there was everything we could need... from cereal and milk, to diapers and wipes. Or at 17, being housed, fed, and loved by the Body of Christ while my father spent his last days on this earth in a hospital dying. Or at the age of 20, when the Lord provided friends to comfort and encourage me when I felt very alone. He's always been trustworty. He's always been faithful. That was never a question. And I pray that I will always remember that... but I hope that I never remember it without remebering my own lack of trust, or my faithlessness so that I will realize the full beauty of His promises to me. I pray that "I might decrease, so that He may increase." For He is worthy of all trust... because He is faithful.


"(Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!)

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch Him amazed,
In awe of the myst'ry of His perfect ways.
All I have need of His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember one single regret
in serving God only and trusting His hand.
All I have need of His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song,
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, He will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
All I have need of His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful, He's always been faithful,
He's always been faithful to me."
"He's Always Been Faithful to Me" as performed by Sarah Groves

Attempting to trust,
Rebekah